Lab Partners
by CheatingAtMonkeyBall
Summary: Santana's actions in science are inappropriate and immature, and Rachel's just about had enough of it! PezBerry oneshot. T for Santana's dirty mind and one cuss word.


I'd like Pez with my Berry.

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Rachel Berry hated science class, and it had nothing to do with the fact that they didn't sing or dance. She absolutely dreaded it because Santana Lopez was her partner. The girls didn't really get along in general, but alone at the lab table was way worse. It was this way because Santana didn't know the meaning of decency or self control and said everything that came into her mind. It's not like she necessarily insulted the diva full-on, but there were other things she said that sent shivers up the drama queen's spine.

For example: the other day they were doing a lab with a turkey baster. While Rachel was actually doing the lab, Santana was playing with the aforementioned tool and started chuckling. Curious as to what the joke was, Rachel looked up. Santana snickered at the instrument in her hand and mused, "A turkey baster looks a lot like a dick doesn't it?" Rachel turned red then white then green. Did the Latina really just say that.

"T-that's ridiculous and immature," the diva blubbered out.

Santana caught the girl's stammer and grinned. "But it's true." Rachel tried to look away as the Cheerio stuck the tool completely into her mouth. Geesh, did this girl have no shame? "Awww, Berry's blushing," Santana mumbled through the instrument and ruffled Rachel's hair.

That wasn't even the worst time. Another lab involved petroleum jelly, and it was even more disturbing! The teacher set a container of the cream in front of them and the instructions. Santana turned to Rachel abruptly and asked, "You think we'll have to use all this stuff?"

The more responsible brunette scanned the instructions and responded, "it says there should be half a tube left over if you do it right, but I don't see why-" Rachel was stunned speechless when she looked up from the paper and saw what Santana was doing. The Cheerio had grabbed a blob of the jelly in her fingers and was rubbing it in between her legs. Yeah, in her vagina. Rachel was mortified and looked around to see if anyone was looking. Much to her relief they weren't. "Santana, have you lost your mind?" the drama queen hissed at her lab partner's inappropriate activity.

"I had an itch," the Latina reasoned and gave a scowl. Soon after she raised her hand from it's… position and stuck it in her mouth, licking it clean. Rachel nearly died right there. Santana could see this in her eyes and grinned before slowly taking her fingers out one by one. "See something you like, Berry?" Rachel fumed and looked back at the instructions.

You might ask yourself why Rachel doesn't just ask for a new partner, but truth be told the diva was learning more from Santana than the labs. She didn't know why she stayed - why anyone in their right mind would stay partners with this disgusting creature beside her. Rachel reasoned that it was a two way learning experience. Santana learned science, and Rachel learned the ways of flirtation. Santana could have any boy she wanted with a snap of her fingers, and Rachel was desperate almost. Was it worth that stomach-churning feeling of revolt whenever the Latina acted up and smirked at her reaction? She certainly hoped so. One day would take her too far.

The lab involved soaking a potato in acid. The acid was to be put in at a specific amount using that stupid little turkey baster with the Latina's dirty mouth germs on it. That wasn't all that could be visualized though. Rachel had just dropped the potato that would be sitting for three minutes in the acid and set her watch when Santana said, "Hey, Berry." Rachel looked up and saw that Santana had the turkey baster and the clampers in her hands. "Tell me what you see." The Latina opened the clampers and placed them at the tip of the turkey baster where the water would drip out. She pinched the clampers down on the head of the turkey baster. Rachel wasn't as innocent as she sometimes came off; she totally saw what the Latina was getting at. The clampers were giving head to the turkey baster dick. Rachel almost started growling and turned back to the potato. Her watch said she had to soak it for two and half minutes more. She nudged it with her brain to go faster. The sooner the lab is done, the sooner Santana's perverted toys are taken away. "Aww, Rachel, I didn't mean to piss you off," Santana mocked. Rachel turned to glare at the girl who now had the turkey baster full of water facing Rachel's face. The diva swore if she — Santana squeezed the instrument and the cool water spurted into Rachel's face. Santana chuckled at the image she created, but that just made things worse.

Rachel stood up from her chair and turned to face the Cheerio with a glare full of rage. "You perverted little bitch. Do you have any decency for yourself at all? It's as if your whole life is to tease every single person that lays eyes on you, and I've just about had enough of it. You're actions are inappropriate, unjust, and just plain disgusting. It's as if you don't care what happens to your body. Do you care?"

Santana stood up and matched her glare. "Number one: I'm not a tease. I go all the way. Number two: what are you going to do about it?"

Rachel's left eye twitched at this. "What am I going to do about it?" she was growling now. Santana did that head swivel thing she did to mark her territory. Suddenly Rachel leapt from her stance and tackled the Latina. Around this time you'd think you'd hear Puck yell 'cat fight,' but that wasn't the case. In this particular situation Rachel was dominating in power and making out with the Latina full force, but before the Latina could get her complete serving of Berry, the diva stood up. "That's what I'm going to do about it." Rachel turned back to the experiment and pulled out the potato with those stupid clampers and dripped a little bit more acid on it with that stupid turkey baster.


End file.
